Overthinking & Anxiety: How to Quiet Your Mind and Reclaim Peace
How to move beyond constant worry and “what-ifs,” whether at work or in your relationships.
For many people, a mind in constant motion can feel exhausting, leading to anxiety, stress, and a feeling of being stuck.
What is Overthinking and Why Does it Happen?
Overthinking is more than just deep thought; it's a pattern of repetitive, often negative, thoughts that are unproductive. It's the "what if" scenarios, the endless analysis, and the constant worry that can make simple decisions feel impossible.
It often stems from our brain's natural desire to protect us. When we've experienced stressful or difficult situations, our minds can go into a state of hyper-vigilance, constantly scanning for threats. This can be influenced by our early experiences and how we learned to cope with emotions. Instead of feeling an emotion, our brain may try to "think" its way out of it, leading to a loop of overthinking.
Examples of Overthinking
Work-related overthinking often focuses on performance, professional relationships, and career security. It's the constant replay of past events or the anticipation of future scenarios.
Replaying conversations: After a meeting with a boss or colleague, you might spend hours replaying every word you said, analyzing their tone, and trying to find hidden meanings or signs of disapproval.
Worrying about feedback: You might anxiously wait for a performance review, obsessing over every minor mistake you've made in the past year, and catastrophizing about potential negative outcomes.
Analyzing emails: You can spend excessive time crafting and re-reading an email, trying to perfectly word it to avoid misinterpretation, or over-analyzing a short, direct email from a coworker, assuming it holds a negative undertone.
Anticipating failure: Before a big presentation or a new project, you might spend more time imagining all the ways it could go wrong than actually preparing for it. This can lead to self-sabotage or paralysis.
Difficulty with delegation: You might overthink the process of delegating a task to a team member, convinced they won't do it correctly, so you end up doing all the work yourself.
Relational overthinking centers on social interactions and personal relationships, from friendships to romantic partnerships. It’s often driven by a fear of rejection, a need for reassurance, or insecurity.
Text message analysis: After sending a text, you might obsessively check your phone, wondering why the other person hasn't responded yet, and creating elaborate stories in your mind about what they must be doing or thinking.
Analyzing social interactions: After a conversation with a friend, you might replay it over and over, worrying that you said something embarrassing or offensive, and fear they might be upset with you.
Relationship "what-ifs": You might constantly question your partner's feelings for you, overanalyzing their words, gestures, or actions for signs of disinterest, and fearing the relationship is ending even without any evidence.
Future-gazing: You could spend too much time worrying about the long-term future of a relationship, thinking about all the ways it might not work out, instead of enjoying the present.
Interpreting silence: When a friend or partner is quiet, you might immediately jump to the conclusion that you did something wrong, instead of considering that they might just be tired, busy, or thinking about something unrelated.
How Therapy Can Help You Overcome Overthinking
You don't need to try to stop overthinking on your own. A skilled therapist can provide the tools and support you need to quiet your mind and change your relationship with your thoughts. I will help you:
Understand the "Why": Together, we’ll explore the root causes of your overthinking through attachment-based therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS). By understanding where these patterns come from, you can begin to heal the underlying issues rather than just managing the symptoms.
Create Inner Calm: I’ll introduce practical techniques to help you soothe your nervous system, allowing you to respond to situations with clarity instead of reacting from a place of fear or anxiety.
Build Confidence: By learning to trust your intuition and make decisions with greater ease, you will build self-confidence and reclaim control over your life.
If you’re ready to address overthinking and anxiety at the root, I offer in-person therapy in Philadelphia and online therapy across Pennsylvania and New Jersey.
Contact Me Today to learn how therapy can help you find balance and relief.
